Since I returned to the world of music in 2014 I have had up times and down times. It feels like it’s been months of hard work with occasional fleeting hopeful moments. Logically I know this is normal, but knowing doesn’t make it any easier. I feel time slipping by quickly without major accomplishments that would help keep me going.

After work I practice music and then I work out. Playing music is supposed to be fun, and it is fun, but it can also be frustrating to spend time practicing and then to be unable to sing or play as well as I want to. I’m a perfectionist which makes this worse.

I’m especially hard on myself about my voice, because I know I can get better at guitar with continued practice, but singing feels different. It’s much harder for me.

I need to regularly remind myself that I just started fingerpicking on guitar a few months ago. And that I never really knew how to sing when I was in bands before.

Last night I practiced for two hours, and when I played my last song there was something different about my voice. I don’t know if it was real or imagined, but it sounded different. It sounded good. And I thought to myself “holy crap, I can sing.” I want to have more of those moments.